What a Single Woman from the 1800s is Teaching Me about Parenting
and about life
The single most important thing that Charlotte Mason has taught me is that “children are born persons”.
You have probably heard this before and, like me, lifted a shoulder and said, “Well, of course!”
But the moment I decided to study it and dive deep into it was the moment I realized that Miss Mason was a parenting genius. Seeing my children as born persons has completely changed my parenting and the way I educate and engage with my children. These are some of the lessons I’ve discovered.
🪷 Children are born with unique personalities and a wonderful thought life.
It’s not our job to force them to conform or to be created in some way. It’s our job to guide an already formed vessel (because God did the forming for us).
🌹Respect is better than authority or permissiveness.
I know it can make some Christian circles bristle when I talk about authority not being the ultimate way we relate to our children. Our children deserve our respect because they are humans capable of relationship. God is in relationship with us first, then obedience comes as the fruit of that. I want the relationship with my children to be at the forefront of my parenting.
🌻Education is best done through living ideas, not manipulation.
Bribes, even rewards, and punishments, as opposed to consequences, can be hindrances to a child’s education. To build lifelong and enthusiastic learners, I believe the best course of action is education and training through living literature and deep conversations.
🌼 Habit training wins the day.
Our behaviors, good or bad, are typically simply the habits we have established by doing or reacting to something the same way over and over. If I want to change a child’s behavior, we work on changing their habits. We work as a team with the goal being self-governance. (Goodness, I still work on this for myself, too!)
Parenting with these principles in mind has been a delight. There are difficult moments, of course, but when I can remember to mother this way, the entire family benefits.